


You Deserve To Be Loved

by icegirl99



Series: You Love Him [7]
Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Crying, M/M, Men Crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 16:29:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21121802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icegirl99/pseuds/icegirl99
Summary: Papa attempts comforting Copia. Upon trying to take things to the next level Papa discovers something rather shocking about Copia's past.





	You Deserve To Be Loved

**Author's Note:**

> I was originally not very happy with this part. I wanted to rewrite it last night but instead chose heavy editing done this morning. It is short for a reason. See notes at the end for more information.

Papa stepped out into the hallway hoping to catch the Cardinal before he made it to the stairs. He didn't have much luck as the hallway was empty. 

Sighing Papa made his way over to the stairway and climbed down a flight to the floor that Copia's living quarters were on. He stopped in front of Copia's door and took a deep breath before knocking once. After a few moments with no answer, he knocked once more, briefly considering that maybe Copia hadn't returned to his room after all. 

Papa was about to turn around when he heard Copia's voice on the other side of the door. "Please leave," he whispered, he sounded like he was crying. 

Papa placed his hand on the door and leaned up against it. "I did not want to upset you, Cardinal. That was not my intention. I was simply curious." Papa paused, considering his words. "I have overstepped and for this, I apologize." Copia didn't say anything, Papa could still hear him crying. His heart ached and he wanted to try and open the door. "Copia," Papa tried again. "I am sorry for what I've said. I want to see that you are okay." A few moments passed and eventually, Papa heard the lock click open. He reached for the handle and turned it, opening Copia's door.

The Cardinal was standing on the other side, staring at the floor with tears running down his face. "May I come in?" Papa asked gently, fighting the urge to pull Copia into his arms. Copia didn't say anything but stepped aside, allowing Papa inside. 

Copia's living quarters were different from Papa's. Not as large or elegantly decorated. He had the same large windows but they were instead covered in long vertical oak colored blinds. The walls were painted a basic beige and the floor was a dark brown hardwood, with the same tiles that were in Papa's room in the dining area. Instead of a bar, Copia had a small maple colored table with matching four chairs. The lighting was the same, as it was in all the higher-ranking clergy members’ rooms. Papa had had the choice to change his but never bothered. In the sitting area Copia had a light gray microfiber living room set. The area rug underneath them was a deep red. Copia had bookshelves lining the walls, where Papa had chosen to display art instead.

Papa closed the door softly behind himself and turned towards Copia. "I need some time, Papa," the Cardinal whispered finally. 

Papa nodded. "Would you like me to leave?" He didn't want to leave his Cardinal but if Copia didn't want him there, he wouldn't make himself stay. 

Copia shook his head. "I'd like for you to stay," he replied, still unable to look at Papa. He turned and went to sit in his loveseat, putting his head in his hands. Papa followed and sat down in the chair beside him. Copia was silent for a moment before continuing. "There are things in my past," he explained quietly. "I cannot easily trust someone. Especially someone who has a history of treating me the way you have." 

Papa felt a sense of dread overcome him. He was inwardly cursing himself for his actions. "I am not proud of what I have done," Papa said. "My past has not been the easiest on me either, however that is not an excuse for my treatment of you." 

The Cardinal raised his head and looked at Papa, eyes bright with tears. "You are willing to try and change, Papa," Copia whispered. "I have already noticed a difference in your behavior. I am not sure I can change. I am not sure I can accept something more than just a physical relationship again." 

Papa's heart hurt at the words Copia was saying to him. He was in love with his Cardinal. Earlier he had been confident that Copia had felt the same and now Copia was saying things that were slowly breaking his heart. "If you truly believe that, Cardinal,” Papa said, “I will step away and won't ever pursue you again. Unless you want me to." 

Copia was breathing fast as he was looking at Papa. "I want this," he said. "I never said no." He smiled sadly. 

"You said you didn't want more than a physical relationship," Papa pointed out. 

"I am scared, but I've often wondered if maybe I was meant to be alone," Copia was crying again. 

Papa leaned forward and took the Cardinal's hand. He didn't pull away. "Don't think that, Copia," Papa replied. "I ask that you allow me the opportunity to show you that you do deserve to be loved." 

Copia looked at Papa, sobbing now. "You believe that?" Copia asked, tears streaming down his face smudging his eye paint. 

"I do," Papa said. "I believe that you do as well. However, your anxiety is keeping that from you." Papa stood up and moved over to the loveseat. He sat close to the Cardinal and pulled him into his arms. 

"I'm sorry I'm crying, Papa," Copia cried. "I don't know why I'm doing it." 

"It is okay, Copia," Papa said, petting Copia's hair soothingly before pulling back to look the Cardinal in the eyes. "You do not need to explain yourself. It is okay to cry." 

Copia grabbed a fistful of Papa's black silk jacket and pulled Papa closer for a kiss. Papa kissed him back eagerly, hoping to provide some comfort to his distressed Cardinal. Instinctively he deepened the kiss and brought a hand up to Copia's chest, lightly pushing him back. They continued kissing for a moment before Papa brought his hands up and started moving them up and down Copia's chest lightly. Copia made a slight whimpering sound and Papa reached up and threaded a hand into the Cardinal's light brown hair. He pulled slightly, breaking the kiss so that he could kiss along Copia's jaw, his other hand slipped underneath Copia's shirt. 

The Cardinal pulled away suddenly. "Stop Papa," Copia whispered through his tears, and Papa felt his body stiffen. 

Papa sat up and looked at Copia, biting his lip. "Too much?" Papa whispered and saw that he'd gone too far. He looked away from Copia's widened eyes. Papa saw the fear in them. It was a fear that he had seen before, but not from the Cardinal. Still, Papa was able to place it and suddenly he lost his desire to continue. That desire was replaced with deeply rooted pain and suffering. 

Papa knew why Copia had stopped him. He also knew then what had happened to his Cardinal.

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to get dark. When I first started this series I hadn't planned on taking it this far. It was supposed to be a light fluffy romance but I had been thinking about taking these two in the direction of a darker past. This has provided me with that opportunity I believe. If the subject matter gets too heavy, I understand if you wish to discontinue reading. This will be a reflection of my own past as well so it will get personal for me but gives me the chance to share my own story through Papa and Copia. For those of you that stick around, thank you. For those of you who do not, thank you for reading up to this and I will continue to write other fics as well for you to enjoy.


End file.
